Thursday, August 07, 2014


1. After I posted yesterday's blog, I was so sad. One pure moment. I only wanted one thing, which was for yesterday to never end. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle lunchbox packed. File folders bound in file binder. Clothes laid out. Alarms set. I could have lived on the cusp of waiting but today came anyway. No one cried this morning.  We rode our bikes again. Max can ride his push bike. This weekend, we're going to try him out on his Spiderman bike. Pedals. No training wheels. Because sometimes you just have to push ahead.

2. I woke up this morning knowing I was a fraud and an impostor. Someone had written something on Facebook about something cool, like locusts for dinner or the battle of Ticonderoga and I just knew that I knew nothing. Even if I look something up for a second, I'm really replaying old Wikipedia songs in my head. I know sinking thoughts only sink. It took a long time to open a Word Document. I was so low, I preferred filling out the 11 pages of the Arizona Cultural Data Project form to writing.

3. But then I did open the document and found some words that made me think not all was lost. It made me say, I am not as a bad a writer as some people. I would like to put that in my next query letter. I am competitive but I have low goals. I realize, I have to be a better marketer. I'm getting the hang of it. "Here's an exquisite book about the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and their love of pizza. I like pizza too. Please read my mutant book about artichokes and pizza. Love, manuscript-seller." Everyone loves pizza.

Or perhaps the short form is more suitable for my style. Thus, the short blog post. The short number of posts. The short time until this blog-thirty-day project is over. What will I do then? Complain to the wind about the way time keeps pushing forward? Or do I type shortly, backwards? That's a marketing strategy in itself.


Mary Anne Mohanraj said...

"I am not as a bad a writer as some people."

I admit, this is some of my motivation for going to readings. The good ones are inspiring, and the bad ones remind me that I write better than they do, at least. :-)

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