Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Back to work

That is better. I'm tired. Exhausted. Etc. I'm home with the chitlins, thinking of emptying the dishwasher, but overall feel more balanced. Morning rush, maddening computer issues, program ad issues with Writers Chronicle, advising issues, talk in the hallway, showing off the new bathroom, more computer issues, office complaints, rushed lunch with Erik, meeting with smart grad student, email email email (now that computer issues are resolved), read Julie's fabulous poem, log microorganism footage, try to assemble a reasonable time-code list for Erik to make trailer, call Max's day care, find out Max is still asleep, rush to get Zoe, think about Julie's poem, run through the rain to pick Zoe up, drive slowly to get Max, wash out spilled coffee in car and come back here to contemplate emptying the dishwasher.

More exhausted than I've been all summer. Also. Less apoplectic. Strange.

Our offices just reopened after their remodel. I saw mine for the first time and almost cried. I had thought I was getting this cool new office--large, open, and close to the exits--but in the remodel, they bricked in one of the windows to make an up-to-fire-code fire-escape. Lame! Give my windows! The people can use the regular stairs if the building's on fire!!! Or, rather, put in the fire-escape but make it like one of those cool New Yorkie kind that clangs up and down, and, if you're a really great and fast and tall criminal, you can jump and escape upward by pulling down on the iron ladder. I wouldn't mind watching that out my window.
So now I have only one window. But one is better than none, my smart grad student who has no windows in his office told me.

So I will learn to live with it, put gigantic pictures of Max and Zoe on the wall so I can start to crave the return to summer, full-time domestication and all.

(The "C" on my keyboard is kind of wonky. If there are missing "c's" where there should be "c's" forgive me because while I do feel "back," or, rather, "bak," I don't feel very proofready.)

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

The domesticization of Nicole

It isn't normally like this. Or, it wasn't. Last summer, the system was the same. Zoe had some school. Max had none. In between, Erik and I took the kids camping, hiking, and to Salt Lake. We haven't been camping but we've been to Salt Lake and hiking. But, and this is the key to the change, Erik hasn't been with us.
I knew when he got a job, things would be different. It is not as fun not having him home. But I didn't realize that lack of fun would translate into a lot of domestic chores and a lot of stay-at-home-momness that has been great but has been constant. Erik broke up the constancy. Or, is it just because we were doing things all four of us that it seemed more like a summer adventure, even if we were just going, like we did yesterday, to the grocery store.
I've done super fun things with other moms but that momness leads to more mom and kid activities and more thoughts and talks about childcare and naps and potty-training which is not the talk I had last summer with Erik which was more the talk about how many tents do we really need to own? (Four was the answer last summer. This summer's answer? Zero). Play dates and how to wash bottles has occupied more of my mental space than ever before.
I don't know if there's a shoving-out happening--that I'm avoiding working, or if this is a great break from work, but, as the school your impends, I don't know how my brain is going to stop commenting on the number of sparkles on Zoe's dress and how to start talking about, well, see, here's a big problem, I can't even think about what I'm supposed to be thinking about. Poor brain.
Of course, the other big component of the grand domesticization (sp? I'd like to blame poor summer brain but I never can spell made up words) is the kitchen remodel which involved:
Garage cleaning so everything in the kitchen could fit in there.
The cleaning out of the closets to go with the garage sale that goes with the cleaning of the garage.
The closets and all other open spaces were filled with kitchenware.
The empty spaces in the kitchen were filled by carpenters and tile-folks and long conversations about the height of shelves.
My summer of charcuterie turned into the summer of construction sausage.
But now it is all better.
And tomorrow, I'm going mushroom hunting with Max and Z. Erik can't come. He has to work, but maybe we'll bring home a surprise.