Sunday, February 26, 2006

Did it

Took the job. The one at Grand Valley State University. 3/3 teaching load. Good salary. GREAT benefits. It's in Grand Rapids, Michigan. I'm excited, I think. The folks there are so kind. They sent Zoe and me flowers when she was in the hospital. I went from total exhiliration--especially when they told me they voted for me unanimously. And it's hard to become a professor. They don't just dole those jobs out. But then I got depressed about moving and about other peoples' jobs. Some folks got an interview at Portland State. But I know I wanted that too much to actually get it. I wrote a special letter for them. I had KB send an extra letter of recommendation to them. That was the worst day--realizing that GVSU is as good as it's going to get this year. But that good IS good--it's just hard to leave the west. But Erik's completely into going and it's time for an adventure. The nice thing is my blogging life will come with me!

Sunday, February 19, 2006

To Blog

One of my sister's has finally started her own blog--Thirty-One Flavors to Ani over Baskin Robbins? I think so). In so doing, she said she blogged me about it, which seemed like a better way to say "I posted a comment to your blog." So in my lexicon/grammar text, I will suggest that "to blog" as an intransitive verb means that I wrote in my blog today. Example: I blogged. As a transitive verb, it will mean that I sent you a note in your blog. Example: I blogged you. See. And now I'll teach grammar with a 21st century foxiness. Now blog me. Blog me hard. (Imperative form of to blog).

Saturday, February 18, 2006


I feel mentally unstable. I just proofread an essay of mine that's coming up in a journal and it's much too personal, especially if it's read without the essay that explains why I have no modesty whatsoever. Ugh, the whole nonfiction book project is a rubbernecking, gossip fest. Which is how I'll market it, but still. There's something a little striptease about it.
Which makes me think I'm unstable. Which makes me wonder how can I take a job when I know some of the reasons I'm doing it are bad ones--for money, for esteem, for natural career progression. Good reasons would be: I want a change, I like the school, I like the city, I love to teach. And I'll go for those reasons too, but the bad reasons are the ones that make me wonder what choices I would make differently if I wasn't so, well, conventional. But even my most unconventional friends have begun to make the responsible choices: Misty became a lawyer (and goes by Renae), Joy join the HotShots in New Mexico so she could make enough money to live in Idaho next year, John got a full time job for the forest service.....
And, I'm so lucky to have been offered this great job. But I don't want to use up all my good luck on jobs. I was looking at some wineglasses sitting on the counter and one of them was tipped, held up by another glass and I thought I don't want to waste all my good luck on keeping wineglasses whole. But it's true. I have substantial good luck in wineglasses. I still have 5 of the 8 Erik and I got for our wedding. On the other hand, I have bad luck with cars. Just yesterday, with TWO cars of mine in the driveway, neither would start. Erik's ignition was frozen (or the key is dull) and my battery is dead. On the same day! I guess I should take my good luck where it comes. But sometimes bad luck masquerades as good. What if I'd missed an accident because my car wouldn't start???? I know, thoughts like these are paralyzing. The truth of the matter, it will probably all come out in the wash. Or, in other words, it will all end in cliche. One way or another.

Friday, February 10, 2006

Other Worlds

When I got back from my 11 days of campus interviewing, I said "I feel like I've been in a hospital for a month." Then, 4 days later. I moved into the hospital for a month. Zoe is sick from the world's dumbest virus. RSV. Respiratory Scintilla Virus (Scintilla rhymes with Chincilla). I'm going mad being here. I came in and blamed the doctors and nurses that we were stuck here. Then I realized she was pretty sick and I was glad that she had some help and I should stop being such a selfish bum. Then she got an ear infection, croup, and pneumonia and now I blame the hospital for its germy, stress-filled environment.
We've been here too long and I'm having a hard time being rationale. But the system is designed to make me feel irrational. I can't make any decisions, nor do I have any idea when this will be over. I keep guessing. I'm an optimist. I always say tomorrow, but I'm always wrong. Being an optimist is very depressing work.
I make a lot of jokes about how air travel and hospital styas are comprably unbearable (subtracting of course the fact that my baby was so sick I cried). Unbearable defines 2006 so far.
But I did get a job offer at the GVSU job in Michigan. I'll probably take it. They are great folks and the program's great and the money's great and Dr. Write reminds me I can always come back (by "back" I hope she means back to SLC, not the hospital). I'm actually kind of touched that I made it to this point. In a lot of ways, that's enough.

Although Dr. Write SHOULD remind me to graduate and call myself Dr. and check myself out of this hotel.