Friday, January 15, 2010

For Lis and Lisa B.

Because of my own proclivity for complaint, I emphasize the hard parts of this whole "labor" thing (remember, that's why they call it "labor"). The truth is, things have gone so easily that I worry whatever positive thing I say here will send us all jinxily back to the hospital. But the truth is, it's only been a week and I'm already feeling almost good. It sucked having to recover and breastfeed all at once but now, there's this disturbing normalcy. With Z, everything was so traumatic at first. The only good thing was the first couple days to recover and sleep and the slow-entree into breastfeeding. It 100% sucked sitting in the lactation room off the NICU, pumping, while Z had an IV line needled into her scalp. Now, it's like a week of sharp pain and, I hope and knock on wood, another two weeks of mellowness to get ready to go back to work.

Also, Lis, you probably don't suffer from my many weaknesses: a tendency toward week-long headaches, insomnia, and an inability to sit down for more than 20 minutes at a time. Really, 2-3 hours of pain before the epidural, some hurts everywhere pain for 2-3 days, and then the nipples of doom for a week. Really, considering the whole extra person who now lives with us, it's not too much to suffer. And, as Lisa B. said in the comments here, there is some sort of pride in the whole thing. No matter if you have a c-section or an epidural or no drugs and no matter if you breastfeed or not, the whole fact of producing so much well-organized matter out of almost nothing. It's awesome even though difficult.

The truth is, I'm spinningly happy, even at 5 a.m. The right breast hurts very little and the left one only hurts upon latch. I'm cleaning the house today! How scrubbingly delicious.

My sisters are up in Salt Lake and doing Iron Chef pig without me which I am desperately sad too miss. Also, I seem to have picked up an attachment to adverbs. First order of business: how to exorcise the adverbs.

Next week: write a little. And get ready for my semester, dynamically dated to begin February 2nd.


lis said...

I'm so delighted to have a blog posting directly to me me (and lisa b. is good company). Thanks for the reassurance. I think birthing a baby is one of those things that you know is possible since millions do it, but seems ridiculously impossible and intimidating for all of the reasons. I totally agree that ending up with a whole extra person from the process is pretty amazing and worth whatever pain is coming. Thanks for the pep talk! Hope you are doing well.

Lisa B. said...

I am happy to hear you are doing so well. The grandma me says, Don't overdo it! That house can wait! But I am really glad you are feeling that extra energy--it's great.

One thing was helpful to me was to think of giving birth as a form of work my body was made to do. Same for breastfeeding. And it was seriously transformative for me--or maybe it was being a mother? both, probably.

I am excited to see more pictures of that baby, and I am excited about lis's baby, too. And I felt absurdly pleased about a post with my name directly on it.

xo to you all.

Earnest English said...

I'm so glad you're feeling peppy and energized but I SO wish you didn't have to go back to work so soon. I think everyone should get at least 3 months at home with the baby if for no other reason to remind working moms why they work. I took two or three weeks (can't remember now) and it was fine, but now I console myself that if I have another baby, I'm taking off a whole quarter.

I remember at the beginning of breastfeeding saying to the baby: if it's going to hurt like this, then we're not going to be doing this very long. But it doesn't hurt like that for very long -- and I still have all that nipple cream! Though I did use the comforting breast shield things for a while. Breastfeeding stopped hurting until he got teeth, which was around 4 months. But he's almost 15 months now and still breastfeeding, so you know even the teeth end up being manageable (and man does he have teeth!).

Congrats Nik! I'm glad things are so ordinary and wonderful for you this time around. And for Max too!

How is Z dealing with the new baby?

Molly said...

You are handling things so beautifully! Envy! Admiration! Respect!