Thursday, January 18, 2007

Like a CEO

A new analogy for teaching and why we should get paid like a million dollars a class.
1. Each class is like it's own small company. You need to make promotional materials for it (syllabi, handouts, etc.), you need to do research about the product (read books), you need to incorporate that research into the product (lectures, discussinos) and you need to persuade your customers (sadly, your students) to buy it (tests, graded work). The ideas in the discussion and the lecture are unique therefore should be patentable (although there may be some legal business about patenting speech but if we get Disney in on this, I'm sure we can work around it). Oh, and you make copies yourself which makes you an administrative assistant to your own boss which is also you! You're a very, very busy person. You shouldn't take any unsolicited phone calls. Have them send the prospectus to your office and you'll take a look at it later.

7 comments:

Lisa B. said...

Does "Like a CEO" go sort of like "Like a Virgin"? But more bureaucrat-y?

Nik said...

Indeed it does. Perhaps I can work on the rest of the lyrics:
Like CEO,
promoted for the very last time. Like a C E-e-e-e O
your stock options
are worth less than mine.

Sadly (or luckily), that's all I know.

Lisa B. said...

You are my lucky staaaaar, NikWalk.

Dr. Write said...

Yes. So like a CEO. But where is my outrageous compensation package? Where is my bonus for being fired because I'm a failure?

Lisa B. said...

This is not my beautiful house! This is not my beautiful wife!

Scorpion's Tail said...

I think Marx would say something about you being CEO are actually in a state of constant self-exploitation. Not only exploiting others (the poor poor students who work FOR you...we must feel sorry for them, musn't we?), but yourself because you are self-employed within the capitalist structure....okay it's been a long time since that college marxism course, but it DID go something like that....

Anonymous said...

My dear Nik, it is clear to me you have moved on from comp or that you have much better students than I do (VERY likely). I think of myself more as the Dog Whisperer than a CEO. I am often tempted to make that "ttisst, ttisst" sound and there is no memory - each time we meet it is an entirely new day (which is as good as bad). Miss you and love you xoxox. jenae