1. I can't seem to make an easy dinner. I do make tacos once a week but I can't quite just make spaghetti with a jar of tomato sauce and call it a day. Tonight I'm making Farro and Rice salad with roasted squash and fried arugula, thai chicken and fondue. Except for the lack of cohesion there, you might think that this is a good thing, cooking a lot. But it's not. It takes time I should be doing other things. It stresses me out what to make best next and new. All I want is someone to send me an email every day and say, make this. No questions asked. Nothing tastes as good as 3 hours of cooking tastes. I should just make bacon and eat that. Bacon tastes exactly as good as it takes long to cook.
2. Meetings. I can't go to them. I went to one this week and it begat another meeting and I had a panic attack in the middle of the meeting room. I wanted to just get the thing done, not talk about it. My boss said, you should write a Ben Franklinesque manifesto about how to get stuff done. Call it, stop meeting and write something. I guess. To the rest of the department, I look like the woman who won't ever meet.
3. Is there a job where I don't have to talk to people. I love people. Especially quiet people on Facebook.
4. I am never not running around late to something, probably because I'm too busy shopping for the 49 ingredient dinner and trying to write the thing we were supposed to meet about so I can follow my own Franklin-like aphorisms. But I also seem to have to pick up the kids every 9 minutes which makes for very short sessions and very too much driving even though I swear at least one of them is in school 4.5 days a week and the other is in school 3 days a week. I think the kids might be having meetings.
5. I am looking forward to buying Max socks this weekend. This is not something worthy looking forward to.
6. In not drinking wine so much, I've now become a tea addict. Yesterday, I had five cups of tea. This amount of tea reveals a) that I have an addictive personality, b) that I also have a compulsive personality, c) trying to decide whether I'm more addictive or more compulsive reveals my tendency for neurosis and d) I have to pee a lot.
7. I should not read the internet or blogs before I go to bed. Last night, the internet told me that the Republicans are planning to permanently rig the electoral college by dividing up electoral votes by congressional district, making the electoral college in presidential elections look identical to our current house of representatives. And the blog that said tenure will go away soon. I don't so much care about tenure but to me, tenure means research and if they get rid of research then that means they will fill that time that was once dedicated to research with more meetings.
8. Thank you cards.
9. Writing. I'm addicted to that too. If I don't write, I get all 1 through 8. If I do write, I want someone to read it. When I send it out, I wait around, thinking of course it is good only to realize 17 minutes later that I should perhaps not push "publish" on that button but I can't help it because I'm compulsive (and impatient. My fine friend told me the other day to be patient. I tried but then it drove me to drink more tea). And then I wonder if maybe it was fine just not quite that person's fine and then I find another person to read who does indeed love it but then I just wonder if they're being nice and the first mean person was right all along and that they weren't being mean, they were just being right and perhaps they too have diagnosed me with a lot of problems.